For the adoptive family the Christmas season can carry many levels of emotions. We easily remember the joy of our first Christmas with each adopted child. It was a time of delight and wonder as for the first time this child beheld Daddy putting the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree and then joined in the family tradition of decorating it with glass balls and handmade ornaments. After which the little stable is placed under the tree and the box with the Creche is opened; Mom has a marvelous time of telling how this was the same one she had as a child. And as each piece is unwrapped from its tissue paper and place in its spot, the story of Jesus' nativity would be told - born of his mother Mary in a stable with his adopted dad Joseph caring for both of them; the shepherds come to see him because the angels had told them of his birth; though they did not come until much later, the Wise Men and camels are added to complete the scene. Dad would go into the bedroom and after a time would come out bearing stacks of wrapped presents filling the children's eyes with wonder and excitement. The energy in the house was electrical. All of it a dream come true now that they had a family of their very own.
It can be, as it is for us this year, a time of yearning for things not to be. We have four children who we had hoped would be with us this year to celebrate our Savior's birth, but it is not to be. So we look forward to next year when they will be here sharing in our Christmas traditions and joy.
But Christmas can also be a very hard time for adoptive parents which has been our experience many years. This season of celebration and peace has been marked by rebellion and anguish. The child, born of our heart, has caused nothing but turmoil all year long; sometimes acting out in ways that can never be made public. We wrestled with this deep in our heart before the Lord. Why should they be blessed with gifts as if their behavior has no consequences? They think nothing of how their actions are hurting the family. In fact, they do not even care about anyone in the family. Why should we take our money and purchase anything for this ungrateful, selfish, extremely manipulating, violent, deceitful, lying child?
As with many things in our adoption journey, the Lord has been teaching us what his Word 'really' means. But the short answer to a rather yearly question is as simple as it is profound. And it was one done by God himself.
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Jesus is our example and master. He gave us the greatest gift of all when we were most unappreciative. And truth be told most days still, we do not reflect properly on how we are rebellious to our Father each day, each year, and yet, he still pours out his love and mercy on us.
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God.
1 Peter 3:18
We have learned that giving at Christmas is not about behavior rewarded, but love being given. No matter what our children have put us through, we must give as Christ gave. Our desire is to reflect the Light that came to shine in darkness as celebrated this time of year; that all hearts be turned to Jesus, exalting him and the great love he poured out in obedience to his Father with the joy that 'he rules the world in truth and grace'. We can trust our kindness and mercy will not go unnoticed by our Savior; it is a glorious sign that in our hearts 'the Savior reigns'.
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